Two Men and a Girl
by Mossnose
Summary: Joey and Tristan start a song about how they're opposites, yet still friends. But what happens when Tristan keeps bringing up Serenity? Funnier than it sounds. Contains slight Cheershipping and onesided Ardentshipping.


A/N: Here's a one-shot I came up with while watching videos on Youtube. Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or this song, which is the property of Stephen Lynch.

**Two Men and a Girl**

"Ya know, we really are opposites," Joey Wheeler said one day at the park.

"Come to think of it, we are. That's one of the most logical things I've ever heard you say," his friend Tristan Taylor replied.

"Oh, ha ha, very funny," Joey growled (not literally of course).

I'm serious, Joey. There are so many differences between us that it's hard to believe we're friends sometimes. Especially when it comes to Serenity…"

"Stop daydreamin' about my sister!" Joey snapped. "But you're right. I mean, I love duelin', and you can't duel to save your life."

"Don't remind me. Not only did I make a fool of myself in front of Serenity, but I ended up as a robot monkey until we got out of that virtual world!" Tristan groaned. "And there are so many other differences between us…"

Joey: _I like my toast buttered,_

Tristan: _And I'll take mine dry._

Joey: _I dig the Beatles,_

Tristan: _I'm a Stones kind of guy._

_I have fine taste,_

Joey: _And I like things cheap._

_I wanna stay up all night,_

Tristan: _I just wanna sleep,_

_With your sister._

Joey looked at Tristan strangely. "What did you just say?"

"What?"

"You just said something…"

"No, no, I wanna sleep. Ready? Here we go."

"No, I'm not ready."

By this time, Yugi had come across them and was watching them strangely. Atem came up behind him and watched them.

"What are they doing?" he asked.

His light looked up at him. "To be honest, I have no idea."

Tea, Ryou and Bakura were also there, and they were just as confused. Before they could ask, the two boys started singing again.

Joey: _I love the sunshine,_

Tristan: _And I wanna nail your sister._

"No, see you just said it again!"

Joey: _I like Julia Roberts movies_

Tristan: _I just wanna F the S outta your sister!_

"No, this is…!"

Tristan: _Hey Joey, you'd rule,_

"No!"

By now, Malik, Marik and Duke had shown up. Malik was confused, Marik was grinning evilly at the though of what Joey would do to Tristan, and Duke was just glaring daggers at Tristan.

Tristan: _If you'd say it's cool,_

"It's not cool!"

Tristan: _I'd go pick her up, at her Junior High School_

Kaiba and Mokuba took that very moment to walk by. Mokuba ran over to see what was going on, and Kaiba get followed to make sure he didn't see or hear anything inappropriate.

"What is he doing?" Mokuba asked.

"I don't know, but the mutt's getting angry about it, and that's good enough for me," Kaiba said with a smirk.

_Yeah, your sister!_

_Yeah!_

_I wanna F your sister!_

"No, you will not F my sister!"

Tristan: _I wanna F her in the A,_

"No, I don't know what you're saying!"

_And just C all over her chin!_

"Stop! Stop using letters!"

Serenity took that moment to show up with Mai. Everyone present became either shocked, nervous, concerned, or started grinning maniacally.

_Well I'd stick my fist in her V!_

"Stop that! I'm serious!"

_And I move it around and move into her A hole!_

"No! No!"

_It'd be so F ing great!_

_I'd nail her!_

"No, I'm serious!"

_Yeah I wanna Mack your sister!_

"STOP IT!"

"What?" Tristan finally stopped, and that's when he noticed the others were there. Tea's jaw had dropped, Mai gave Tristan a glare that read, "you're dead", Serenity's eyes practically bugged out of her head, Bakura and Marik were watching eagerly, Duke got a fist ready for Tristan, Kaiba was covering Mokuba's ears, Atem was looking nauseous, and Yugi, Ryou and Malik had all fainted.

"I wanna make one thing clear…" Joey hissed. Everyone who was conscious took a deep breath and held it. "I do _not_ like Julia Roberts movies!" At that moment, he noticed everyone else too. Serenity walked right up to Tristan with an unreadable expression on her face. Yugi, Ryou and Malik had all come to, so they watched to see what she'd do.

"Tristan," she said calmly, "I have something to say to you."

She lifted one hand, put it gently against his cheek, and then…

SLAP!

"Pervert!" She then turned around and stormed away. Duke followed her, and everyone else left in their own way, Bakura and Marik laughing up a storm.

"I didn't know the girl had it in her!"

"Unicorn-head is never going to hear the end of this!"

Tristan lay on the ground, one cheek red from Serenity's palm. Joey stood over him and shook his head.

"I hate to say this, but you deserved that," he muttered. He left, leaving Tristan all alone on the grass.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Tristan deserves some recognition, even if it's negative. Constructive criticism is welcome, but no flames.


End file.
